I'm a Big Fat Sinner

Well today I was reminded once again how much of a "Big Fat Sinner" I am. I was on my way to Home Depot and made an improper right hand turn on the shoulder and because of my mistake, (which by the way, I didn't know was illegal) got a nice, lovely, ticket.

I argued my point to the officer that first of all I didn't know I couldn't turn from the shoulder, and that it is not marked properly. Unfortunately that didn't matter. He said I had not followed the "law" and thus I got a ticket. I fussed about grace to him and asked him to give me a warning, pleading that I was a good driver. Unfortunately it was to no avail. I think I actually ticked him off because in my frustration and anger I accused him of padding the pockets of the city and just trying to get his quota. Sometimes my anger gets the best of me and I start shooting off my mouth with every excuse as to why I shouldn't get the "punishment." But, I have to be honest, I was in the wrong and now I have to pay for it.

Even though there was intense fellowship between us (btw, he was a Youth Pastor I found out), his point was the law was broken, now I have to pay the consequences. Let's be honest, I didn't like that response.

What happened to me makes me realize that one day when we get to heaven there will be judgment for our lives. According to whether we know Jesus or not we will have to pay for our sins. It also reminded me that even though I know Jesus, I am still a Big Fat Sinner. I make mistakes daily and it is my responsibility to not make excuses for those mistakes, but to learn to admit those mistakes and pay for them. Some payments are more painful than others. The one for my ticket will be painful in my wallet, but there are other painful consequences to not following God's Law.

There are losses of relationships, because we don't admit our mistakes and ask for forgiveness. There are losses of finances when we make unwise business decisions. There are losses of friends when we walk away from the God given responsibilities we have.

We have hope though! If we are Christ-followers, we must admit that we are continually Big Fat Sinners that are saved by the Grace of God. Recognizing our weakness should propel us to do something about it. We must depend daily on the only strength that can get us through. That strength is the strength of Jesus.

Maybe today you were reminded you are a Big Fat Sinner. Turn from your mistakes and ask forgiveness yet be prepared to pay for your mistakes. Be the responsible Christ-follower He has called you to be. Seek the grace that is only offered in Jesus!

Vacation

I am always looking forward to going on vacation. The only problem with me is I am such a work-a-holic that it takes me forever to unwind when I go. I constantly think about what I've got to do when I get back, and what I should have gotten done before I went on vacation. Have you ever been like that?

I hate being a work-a-holic because by the time I finally get to the point of relaxation, it's time for me to go back to work and I think why vacate in the first place. I personally know that God's work is never going to be done. I am trying to chillax a little and quit worrying about what is to come up next. I'm a planner though. It is my hang up.

Jesus had to find time to get away. In John 6 He had to slip away without anyone knowing. Everybody needs time away. I guess my passion and broken-heartedness for our city even drives my thoughts while on vacation though. I constantly think about what needs to be done.

I guess what I am realizing is that I can never vacate from my responsibility as a leader and Christ-follower to not think about the mission He has placed before me. It actually keeps me going and drives me to want to do more.

It's funny how thinking ahead allows me to relax and not have to stay caught up in the day to day activities. Oh, well, guess that's what it's about for me. Time to think about what lies ahead and not what I'm in the middle of right now.

I am committing right now to enjoying my time away, yet always listening to the voice of Jesus preparing me for when I return. I guess, as I blog, I realize that is how I relax. Thank you Jesus for this time.

Guess I better go chillax a little more....and think about when I get back. LOL!

Serving

I am so blown away by Church @ the River's heart to serve. They have stepped up to the plate so much since we have taken on a local family to minister to after the Nashville flood. Each week they are providing food, financial support, and service to help them. This is what a church should be.

I also wanted to shout out kudos to those who helped us with our Work Day this Sunday. Many of you sweated, dug in the dirt, and power washed your hearts out! Your servanthood has blessed us financially and continued to show your love for Jesus, this church, and me. I am proud to serve with you.

What a morning

Have you ever had one of those days when you get up, everything is looking good, the sun is shining and all of a sudden things change because of an attitude. My daughter had one of those mornings. She awakened from her deepened slumber and was on a warpath. She, being bull-headed like her daddy, thinks she is right all the time and there is no changing her mind. This morning I attempted to convince her that she could take another bag to school because they were having a beach day today. She told me, under no certain terms, that she couldn't take that bag. They "the school administration" wouldn't let her, she said. This coming from a 1st grader...LOL! I tried easily to convince her otherwise, yet she clung to her mindset that they wouldn't let her.

She ended up taking the bag, after a little attitudinal adjustment, but the grief to get her there was something that no parent desires. I really think we do the same thing to God. We come in with our own ideas, our own mindset as to what He can and cannot do, because we think He is limited by our own understandings. I love the fact that He has to give us a little attitudinal adjustment and help us see that He knows more than we do.

My daughter ended up taking the bag, this morning. I think she was more mad at the fact that she wasn't right. I know sometimes I get mad because I thought I knew what God was going to do or how He was going to do it, but I was wrong. I am reminded of Isaish 55:9, ""As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." I am so glad my Heavenly Father knows when I don't how everything will all work out.

Exhausted

Ministry is exhaustive at times. I think the most exhaustive part is leading. Leading requires so many different skills. Skills often that I realize I am lacking in or am not in tune to because I am distracted by my own thoughts and stresses. I know I want the very best for the people I pastor, yet I realize how short I am on being the best I should be. I continually pray for wisdom and not to be distracted by my own foolish thoughts. I get so disappointed in myself. I want to be a great leader, yet I am not always confident in my leadership abilities, especially when they are questioned because I always feel like I have to defend my stance, which truly is not always the truth about the circumstance. It is just my fears and I believe Satan pushing on my fears that many times send me into defensive mode. I am a mover and a shaker and I do not linger on decisions. Many times that is misinterpreted as lack of prayer. I know for a fact though, that before I get to the decision, I have prayed and heard the answer. Getting others to trust that at times is difficult. I am human and many times express my fears and frustrations to friends and they are misinterpreted because I am a pastor. Many times my heart condition is questioned. At times I need to blow off steam. I have to be careful to whom I do so. I am a man and struggle with pressures and fears and disappointments as well as selfishness. I am learning who really knows me and who is still not sure about me. God help me to be the man, husband, father, and Pastor I need to be.

Back Up and Blogging

Pastor Jerm returns to the blogging world. I changed to e blogger with google because my old one got too complicated to use. Glad to be back.